Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
