yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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