This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
