Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
