So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
