Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Success! We fucked roommates!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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