Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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