the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
please don't ironically join a cult
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