I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
