It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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