She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
