quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
