some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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