i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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