Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
