Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
