In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
