the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
