Dual....:-)
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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