i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
