It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
