We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
