i can't believe i had my finger in that
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
NoShamevember. You game?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize