i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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