4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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