We tried having a conversation with our noses.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
