a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
