im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Holy sore nipples Batman
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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