Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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