So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
