At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
