four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
