Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
