It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
