No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize