I can text with my tongue
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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