i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
