I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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