a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
