ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
