you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He did a backflip because drugs
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
