Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
