office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
