I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just found puke in my bra..
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
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