ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
