Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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