Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
