good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
