How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
