and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
i think my cat just said my name.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize