You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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