ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
