so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I deserve this hangover.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
