I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
