i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
