So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
