How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
