I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
