i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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