capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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