oh god the rape fog is back!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
