yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
