PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
