ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
