I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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