When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize