i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
