It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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