If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
