I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
this boner is exhausting
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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