I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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