My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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