Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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