i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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