I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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