i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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