Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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