If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
