the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
