seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
